Prepositions

Every month or two, we have a staff meeting, in which two teachers are asked to give a short presentation of techniques and ideas they have used in the classroom. Until recently, I'd managed to avoid being called up, but my time came as I had known it inevitably would.

Rest assured, it was a magnificent presentation. Even my notoriously-hard-to-please boss told me afterwards that it was, and I quote, "quite impressive."

Because you are all, I'm sure, quite distraught at having missed out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I give you now the handout I prepared, that you may have at least a glimpse of my awesomeness.

Beyond the Textbook:
Five Fun and Simple Things to do with Prepositions

1. Listening: Spatial Movement:

One by one, call the students to the front of the class, with specific instructions for each one on where to stand:
- Rachel, come stand in front of me.
- Leo, stand beside Rachel.
- Rocky, stand behind Leo.
- Emily, stand between Leo and Rocky.

By repositioning yourself, you also force the students to move as well- by turning around, for example, the student who was previously in front of you is now behind you all of a sudden, and must reorient herself accordingly.

2. Writing: The Basket Game

Divide the class into two teams. Have one student from each team come up to the whiteboard; give them each a marker.

Put your teaching basket on an empty desk at the front of the classroom. Establish what constitutes in front of the basket, beside the basket, and so on.

Take an object- a pen, a die, an eraser- from the basket, and place it somewhere on the desk. The first student to write down the correct preposition gets a point for his or her team. Depending on the level of the students, you can either have them write just the preposition (“in front of”) or a full sentence (“The eraser is in front of the basket.”).

3. Questions: The Hide and Seek Game

Have one student wait in the hallway. Choose a small object and hide it somewhere in the classroom- in a schoolbag, behind the door, under a desk, etc. Once the student is brought back into the class, he or she must find the object by asking yes/no questions:

-Is it under something?
-Is it next to the wall?
-Is it in something?

4. Speaking practice: The drawing game

Bring some simple drawings to class, or if time permits, give your students 3-5 minutes to make their own basic line drawings. Collect the drawings, then invite two students up to the whiteboard.

Show the class (but not the students at the whiteboard) one of the drawings. They must now describe it in detail so the students at the front are able to draw it:

-There’s a Christmas tree.
-Under the Christmas tree is a cat.
-The cat is on a pillow.
-The pillow is next to a present.

This is also a good activity to introduce new vocabulary such as “to the left of,” or “in the middle of.”

5. Assessment: Drawing test.

This is similar to the drawing game, but rather than having students come to the whiteboard to make pictures, each student is given a sheet of paper at their desk, and the teacher then tells them what to draw. I try to keep it simple by using geometric shapes rather than people or animals, as otherwise the students become distracted by adding details. This is also a particularly easy test to mark, as each paper can be checked in a matter of seconds.

-Draw a circle in the middle of the page.
-Draw a triangle above the circle.
-Draw a square beside the triangle, and a small circle in the square.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yesterday was Teachers' Day, a holiday that is sadly lacking in Canada. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd gladly swap the August Civic Holiday for a Teachers' Day in May. It should be noted that it's not a public holiday here, but our school did decide to take us on a hike for the day instead of teaching. This is another trade I would recommend to any teachers looking to escape from school for a day.

The delightful thing about Teachers' Day, from a purely selfish point of view, is the windfall of gifts given to us by loving students and their parents. They're sometimes useful, sometimes hedonistic, but always appreciated. While there is some overlap between Canadian and Korean ideas of what constitutes an appropriate present, there are also some differences. To illustrate, I present to you now my list of received gifts. In order to forestall any otherwise inevitable wisecracking, I should note that, for the gifts listed, my co-teacher(s) for that particular student or class received the same thing. Unless otherwise noted, each gift is from one student.

Jeff's Teachers' Day Presents, 2008

-socks, 100% silk, 3 pairs
-socks, ankle, athletic, 3 pairs
-vitamins, Centrum Silver ("Specially formulated for adults 50+")
-movie tickets, 2
-t-shirt, white, 1 (my coworker Steve also received a t-shirt, but his was hot pink)
-lime and salt body wash, one bottle
-Nivea anti-perspirant spray, one bottle
-handkerchief, 1
-toothpaste, 6 (six!) tubes
-journal, 1
-Old Spice aftershave, one bottle
-L'Oreal "UV Perfect Advanced Fluid Protector (Dermatologically Tested on Asian Skin)" SPF 50, one bottle
-Krispy Kreme donuts, 6
-30,000 Won ($30) gift certificate, redeemable at various restaurants and stores in Korea

The last two were from the parents of my Dolphin kindergarten class. As you can see, there's a greater emphasis here on skin and beauty products , even for guys; I suspect this has a lot to do with the general importance of physical attractiveness for Koreans. The subway stations are covered in ads for plastic surgery clinics ("Small face, lovely breast"), and even our English textbooks aren't immune ("Does Helen have a fat boyfriend? No, Helen has a thin boyfriend. Helen likes thin boys.). As a teacher, I try to skirt away from these lessons as much as possible, though I do try to teach my students that "fat" is not typically considered an acceptable word for everyday conversation, at least not in the contexts shown in the book.

In part inspired by the gift of aftershave, I decided to shave my beard this week, and therefore came to school cleanshaven for the first time ever. The reaction was interesting. While the majority of my students (and coworkers) noticed something different, many were unable to put their finger on it, guessing instead that I'd gotten a haircut. I'm not sure if there's any particular significance to this, but if pressed to find some, I would hypothesize that it has to do with the scarcity of facial hair among Korean men (and women, for that matter). Because virtually no Koreans have beards or mustaches, they notice it when we Westerners have one, but may find it harder to spot it when it's gone. This is all pure conjecture, though.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go apply some Advanced Fluid Protector.

Tales from the kinder classroom - Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Step 1: Scroll down two posts for an introduction to these stories.
Step 2: Read all three stories.
Step 3: Vote in the sidebar poll!

Story #3: Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Teacher walked into Water Buffalo class and said, "Good morning, watermelon!" And Water buffalo class said, "Nooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Oh! I'm sorry. Good morning, waterfall!" "And Water Buffalo class said, "Nooooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Ohh! I'm so sorry. Good morning, Water Chestnut!" And Water Buffalo said, "Noooooo! Water BUFFALO!" And Teacher said, "...really?" And Water Buffalo class said, "Yes! We are Water BUFFALO class!" And Teacher said, "okay. Good morning, Water Buffalo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "Good morning, teacher!"

Teacher said, "I have a surprise for you today! We're going to the movies!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin said, "are we going to see a funny movie?" And Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a funny movie." Derek asked, "are we going to see a love story? With a pretty princess and a handsome prince?" Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a love story." Then Angelica asked, "what kind of movie are we going to see, Teacher?" And Teacher said, "We're going to see a scary movie! It's called The Monster Who Ate Other Monsters!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

On their way to the movie theatre, the students passed a Monster Mask store! Nan said, "Teacher, look! A monster mask store! Can we go in?" And Teacher said, "....okay!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin bought a green monster mask with big, floppy ears! Sophie bought a blue monster mask with great big horns! Roy bought a purple monster mask with lots and lots and lots and lots of TEETH!" And Fanny bought a yellow monster mask with a BIG ROUND NOSE, and a BIG RED MOUTH, but NO EYES! Fanny couldn't see! But she liked her mask very much. Soon all of the students had bought monster masks and were looking forward to the movie.

When they arrived, Teacher bought tickets and brought the students into the theatre. They put on their monster masks and sat down. Teacher went and bought popcorn. The students said, "yaaaay!" Then the movie started. It was exciting! It was all about a monster who went around eating other monsters!

What Water Buffalo class didn't know, however, was that since they started watching the movie, there was a BIG thunderstorm outside, with LOTS of thunder and lightning. All of a sudden, a burst of lightning hit the theatre, and the monster became ALIVE! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaah!" But Teacher said, "don't worry! This monster only eats other monsters! It doesn't eat children!"

Soon the monster came to Nan. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE NAN! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Next, the monster came to Roy. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE ROY! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are not monsters! We are children! Why is the monster eating us?"
And Teacher said, "I don't know!"

Now, through all of this, Fanny had been listening to the movie, and then listening to the monster, but she didn't know what was going on. She couldn't see! But finally she took her mask off, and looked up. She was looking at the monster!

The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth, and said, "aaah-aaah-aaaah-CHOOOOO!" And the monster sneezed! Out came Roy! Out came Nan! They landed on the floor in a pile of popcorn. They were wet and sticky, but they were okay.

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are wearing monster masks! The monster thinks we are monsters! That's why the monster ate Roy and Nan. That's why the monster didn't eat Fanny! She took off her monster mask!"

And Teacher said, "yes! You're right! Take off your monster masks, children! Take them off now!"

And all of Water Buffalo took off their monster masks- except for Devin. Devin liked his monster mask very much. It was green and black and yellow and had big horns AND big teeth AND a big nose! Devin loved his monster mask.

Then the monster came to Devin! The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. Then, Devin opened his mouth AND ATE THE MONSTER! The students said, "yaaaay!"

If it's not evident in the text, all of the eating (by the monster and by Devin) is done in one fell swoop, without chewing. It's much faster this way for all concerned, and also makes it a lot easier to regurgitate students fully formed. When the students say, "yaaaay," this should be accompanied by exaggerated arm-waving to show the depths of their excitement. When the students say, "waaaah," it should be matched with scared hand gestures for the same reason.

The Water Buffalo/ Watermelon greeting at the beginning of the story is a reversal of my own greetings to my Watermelon class. Whether I called them Water Buffalo, or Water Apple, or Waterlemon, they always insisted on being known by their rightful name- except for a couple of the boys, for whom Water Buffalo was a much cooler name.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Supply Teacher

Scroll down to the next post for an introduction to these stories.

Story #2: The Supply Teacher

Because they had thrown their teacher out the window, Water Buffalo class didn't know who would be teaching them today. When the new teacher walked in, the students were very surprised. Their new teacher was BIG! Very big. And funny looking: his clothes didn't seem to fit very well, and he wore a hat all the time! Angelica, Dustin and Roy were all very nervous. But then Teacher spoke. "Goooooood moooooorning, Water Buffalo!" He was nice! The students replied, "good morning, teacher!" Teacher was very big, and funny looking, but he seemed happy, and not mean at all. Teacher taught Water Buffalo class how to hold a pencil with their nose, and how to eat many, many peanuts. Then Teacher said, "I have good news for you, class! Today we're going on a trip...to the zoo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

When they got to the zoo, they looked at the monkeys. Roy liked looking at the monkeys very much; the monkeys thought he was a monkey! But Alison wanted to see the lion, so Water Buffalo class went to look at the lion. The lion was sleeping. Alison said, "aww! so cute," but Devin was angry. He said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "WAKE UP, LION!" And the lion said, "RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"
And Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" And Water Buffalo went to look at the giraffes.

Fanny really liked the giraffes. They were tall, and pretty, and they did not think she looked like a monkey, and they did not say, "RRROOOAAAARRRR!" Fanny could have stayed with the giraffes all day long. She and Dustin agreed that the giraffes were their favourite animals at the zoo. But then Teacher said, "look, class! The elephants are this way!"

When they got to the elephant pen, the students all crowded around the fence to look at the elephants. Because there were so many children, Angelica couldn't get close to the fence. So she read the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Roy moved out of the way, and Angelica was able to see the elephants. There were two elephants by the water, and one elephant was standing under a tree, and another elephant was sleeping in the back...Angelica went back to the sign and read it again: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then she returned to the fence and looked at the elephants. Angelica looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. She called to Alison and said, "look at this sign." Alison looked at the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Alison looked at the elephants. She looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants: one, two, three, four. Four! There were FOUR elephants in the elephant pen! Angelica said, "that's strange! We should ask Teacher." So Angelica and Alison looked around for Teacher, but they couldn't find him anywhere. Then somebody shouted, "let's go see the tigers!" And the Water Buffalo students left the elephant pen- except for Alison and Angelica. "Is Teacher at the front of the group," Angelica asked Alison. "He must be," replied Alison, even though she could not see Teacher anywhere. They went to join the rest of Water Buffalo class.

As they reached Joy, who was the last member of the group, they saw that Teacher was not with the group. Then Alison heard a noise behind her and she turned around. There was Teacher! He was running to catch up with them. His clothes were even messier than usual, and his hat was crooked! Alison looked back at the elephant pen. She only saw three elephants.


It seems evident (to me at least) that my storytelling owes a great deal to Roald Dahl, Louis Sachar, and Robert Munsch (thanks for the reminder, Erin!), but the line about Roy and the monkeys makes me think of John Irving for some reason. I think it's the italicized "he." This story is a lot more light-hearted than the previous one; I don't know which one my kids preferred -the appeal of the violence in The Mean Teacher is matched by the absurdity of an elephant substitute teacher. As I mentioned in the previous post, these retellings here are just that; they should not be taken as verbatim transcripts from the classroom, and should really be read aloud, with great arm movements and sound effects where and when possible.

As well, you may have noticed that even the students who were thrown out the window by the Mean Teacher have reappeared. This adds credence to the theory that the Water Buffalo class is on a lower floor than Watermelon.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Mean Teacher

So there have been times in my kindergarten classes when the worksheets are complete, the flash cards have been reviewed, the washroom has been visited and hands washed, and there is still much time left on the clock. To fill this time, we do different things:

-review some more
-sing songs (Farmer in The Dell, Bingo, and You are my Sunshine are particular favourites of late)
-play games (Broken Telephone, the Hand Game, the Animal Game, and so on)
- and one a few occasions recently, I've made up stories. Most often, these stories have been first told to my Watermelon class, and then edited and adapted to my other kinder classes. My students all have Korean names, obviously, but in class I call them by their English names - Kevin, Angelina, Joy (who's a boy, incidentally), Annie, Justin, Sophia, and so on. This is relevant for reasons that should soon become apparent.

Because the Korean school year finishes in February, today was the last day I taught these particular kindergarten classes. In honour of this, I thought it appropriate to recount the stories I have told. They're presented in a somewhat-condensed format, as I would typically ask questions, solicit audience participation, and encourage repetition of certain phrases during the telling. I'm slightly trepidatious, because I really don't know how well these stories (orginially told with accompanying sound effects and gestures, and lasting anywhere from 10-25 minutes) will translate into the written word, but we shall see. After each story, I intend to provide some additional information, intended largely to reassure you that the stories aren't quite as horrible as they might sound. The first one, at any rate, is probably the least child-appropriate of the lot. I recommend reading it aloud, ideally to any six or seven year-olds in your immediate vicinity.


Story #1: The Mean Teacher

Water Buffalo class had a new teacher. He was very mean. When he came into class in the morning, the students all said, "good morning teacher!" The teacher said, "sit down! be quiet!" They began to do their work. Devin put his hand up and said, "teacher, I have a question." When he said this, teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no questions in this classroom!" And then he picked Devin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW DEVIN OUT THE WINDOW! Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah- Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

A few minutes later, Angelica sneezed. Teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no sneezing in the classroom!" And then he picked Angelina up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW ANGELINA OUT THE WINDOW! Angelina said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

The class continued working. Then, Dustin asked Sophie if he could borrow her eraser. Teacher said, "no borrowing erasers in the classroom!" And then he picked Dustin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and --- and then Roy said, "NO, TEACHER!" Teacher said, "what?" And Roy said, "PUT DUSTIN DOWN!" Teacher was very confused, but he put Dustin down. And then Roy grabbed Teacher's left leg, and Fanny grabbed Teacher's right leg, and Sophie grabbed Teacher's right arm, and Alison grabbed Teacher's left arm. Dustin opened the window, and THEY THREW TEACHER OUT THE WINDOW! Teacher said, ""waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Dustin closed the window, and Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"


This story was first told during the rehearsals for the Kindergarten Concert. After a particularly grueling rehearsal, one of my classes was yelled at for ten minutes by a coworker of mine. When she was finished, I said to her (away from the students, of course), "why were you yelling at them? They were really good!" At this point, she looked rather embarrassed and admitted that they had been good, but said she felt she needed to castigate them to make sure they didn't get sloppy. Different teaching methods, I guess. At any rate, when I walked into the classroom it was full of downcast, dejected faces. Wanting to cheer them up without directly contradicting my co-teacher, I told them this story. It seemed to do the trick.

When I first told the story, I was careful to leave the fate of the defenestrated students ambiguous. In fact, the screams (which weren't screams at all, really, but merely saying "waaaaaaah" in a loud voice) didn't end with a thud per se; they were merely cut off abruptly, and that was that. When I told the story recently to another of my classes though, one of my students asked if they were dead. I told him that unlike the real kinder classrooms, which are on the sixth floor, the Water buffalo class is on the first floor, so it was just a three foot drop from the window to the ground.

Perhaps because it was the first story I told, The Mean Teacher is considerably shorter than the others. Whether this constitutes a point for or against is entirely a matter of taste.

All the World's a Stage

With roughly two hours to spare, I give you...a blog post.


January has been a busy month. The students are on winter break from their elementary schools, which (of course) means that many of them were spending more time with us, and there was a corresponding increase in classes to teach.

In addition to the so-called "intensive" classes, we also had the annual kindergarten concert. Picture, if you will, dozens of Korean six- and seven year-olds singing, dancing, and acting their little kinderhearts out. My Watermelon class unleashed a performance of Snow White and the Six (not seven, six) Dwarfs that would have blown your minds, while my Strawberry class offered an interpretation of Beauty and the Beast that left the audience gaping and gasping in awe. Perhaps the most interesting adaptation, however, came from Lemon class. The Wizard of Oz is a theatrical classic, performed annually on countless stages around the globe.

I am willing to venture a guess, however, that this was the first-ever performance to feature none of:
-the Tin Man
-the Cowardly Lion
-the Scarecrow
-Toto the dog
-the Munchkins.

Parents were apparently unwilling to have their children cast in these roles (I must confess to not quite understanding the reasons why, although I believe it had something to do with the costumes not being sufficiently attractive for the parents' liking), and so instead we saw Superman, Batman, Tae Kwon V (a Korean superhero roughly on par with the first two), and Toto the younger brother. As for the Munchkins, they were simply omitted entirely, but I think this may have more to do with the challenges of performing an entire play in six minutes than out of any editorializing.

In addition to kind of (but not really) emceeing the show, I also had several other roles: the magic mirror in Snow White, the narrator and Servant 1 in Beauty and the Beast, and as a dancer (along with the other waeguk teachers and two kinder classes) to the following song. You really should have seen it. We were awesome.

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, ?, ?

I was doing patterns with one of my kindergarten classes the other day. Nothing too complicated... star circle square star circle square star circle square, and the like. They were getting them all very easily, so I decided to up it a little bit. 9 A 8 B 7 C 6 D, etc, and it took them a little bit longer, but they still picked it up pretty quickly.

So I decided to put something that was even more challenging. And that would be the pattern you see in the title. Some of you will probably crack it immediately; for others it may take a little longer. One of my students figured it out in her head within two minutes. She's six years old! Answer at the bottom.

That was interesting kindergarten incident #1 of the day. Number two occurred that afternoon. At the beginning of each kinder class, I draw a happy face and a sad face on the board; good behaviour and bad behaviour are recognized under the appropriate faces. I try to vary the faces each day - sometimes I'll draw cartoon people, other times anthropomorphized objects or animals. Yesterday I happened to do simple, almost geometric faces: dots for the eyes, accents circonflexes for the eyebrows, and so on. Upon seeing these, one of my students raised her hand and said, "teacher...emoticons?" Bear in mind, again, that these are six year-olds whose first language is not English, whose native alphabet is not Roman. The codebreaking left me impressed but not shocked; the emoticon incident (this, incidentally, would be a good name for an internet spy novel) left me flabbergasted and laughing. I asked her where she learned the word; apparently her mother and older sister were discussing it one day.

Thus, in honour of the occasion, I will end with a smile. :)

p.s. the next two numbers in the sequence are 21 and 34. Each number is the sum of the two preceding it: 1 + 2 = 3, 2 + 3 = 5, 3+ 5 = 8, and so on. Six years old! And she did it in her head!

Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 6.2

The next question is from AC "Slater" Garskey in Ottawa, who writes:

"Dear Waeguk,

I recently heard that there are somewhere in the neighbourhood of 20 000 anglophones teaching English in Korea at the moment. Is the demand for any other languages strong in Korea, and if so, do you ever run into evidence of the presence of native speakers of those languages? (Note: by “evidence”, I more or less am thinking of observing young speakers of, say, French or Spanish on the subway who appear to be on their way to work or who appear to be somehow less transient than tourists. I’m not thinking along the lines of stool samples or footprints.) "

The Waeguk responds:

English is far and away the dominant second-language in Busan, and Korea as a whole. In terms of foreign-language education, the next most popular would likely be Mandarin, but it doesn't have even a tenth of the presence of English.

That's not to say that all the non-Koreans in Busan are anglophones, though. The interestingly-named Texas Street, for example, is home to Busan's Russian community, and many of the signs in the area are in the Cyrillic alphabet. I think the presence of the Russians is due largely to Busan's status as one of the major port cities in this corner of the world; Texas Street also plays host to a number of Indonesian and Philipino restaurants and is, or so rumour would have it, the recommended (and likely only) place to go for a Caucasian (possibly literally, in this case) prostitute.

There are a couple of French people in the Korean class which takes place before mine; I haven't spoken to them much, but I think they likely work for a multinational in the area, as I have seen absolutely no demand whatsoever for French teachers.

It has occurred to me on occasion that it would be amusing to procure myself a position as an English teacher in a rural area where nobody speaks the language, and proceed to teach the children French or Spanish instead, but the odds of my doing this are slim.

Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 6.1

The first of several questions today comes from Sara-Jane in High Park, who asks if Hallowe'en is celebrated in Korea.


The Waeguk responds:

Korea has numerous holidays. Some of them, such as Chuseok, have deep roots in this country, while others, such as Christmas, are newer additions but have still been adopted by a significant proportion of the population. Then there's Halloween. This seems to be celebrated exclusively at the hogwan (English academies) and Wageuk bars. Korean children come to English school dressed in costume and receive and candy and may participate in certain Halloween-themed activities. However, it's done much in the spirit that a Canadian school might have, for example, an "International Day," wherein students will organize cultural activities from different nations. That is to say, Halloween in Korea is celebrated almost exclusively within the school, rather than within the community as a whole.

As for your faithful correspondent, I amazed and delighted my pupils with my interpretation of Wolverine, the X-Man. I made claws of cardboard and tinfoil, and the Kindergardeners especially were quite impressed. We also had a haunted house, which is to say: a classroom with the lights turned off,black garbage bags draped from the ceiling, and a cd of scary sounds playing. I was quite skeptical of our ability to scare anyone, but I had neglected to take into account the fact that our target audience was 5 years old. Many kids refused to take more than 2 steps into the room, and those who did enter were oft shocked to find the mannequins coming to life and jumping out at them. But rest assured, 'twas all in good fun.

sigh...

Things my kindergarten students are learning:

"What's he like? He's handsome and smart."

"What's she like? She's quiet and shy."

Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 5

Our latest question comes from Dave in Ontario, who is impressed at the news of the Waeguk's Korean lessons, and wonders whether they include the alphabet, and the Waeguk's thoughts thereon.

As always, the Waeguk responds:

I'm learning both written and spoken Korean, which is a bit of a challenge, but also something I'm quite enjoying. The Korean is relatively straightforward to learn, and in fact is something I had a decent understanding of even before beginning the lessons, insofar as being able to sound out words, though not necesssarily to understand them.

One of the interesting things about Korean is how poorly it's transliterated into the Roman alphabet. For example, I live in the city of Busan, but until quite recently I would have been living in the city of Pusan. There is no real distinction in Korean between the English p and b, l and r,and j and z. My students are wont to talk about the "Jewkeeper" rather than the "zookeeper," which is not a mistake that will serve them well in most parts of the English-speaking world.

Traditionally, Korean has been transliterated into the Roman alphabet using the McCune-Reischauer system, but over the past decade or so this has been phased out in favour of the Revised Romanization system, and this is the reason for the Pusan/Busan switch. Essentially, this means that there are easier and simpler ways of having one sound in Korean correspond to its partner sound in English, and showing this on paper.

Learning to read Korean has also helped me sympathize somewhat with some of the difficulties facing any learner of a new alphabet. Most frustrating? Fonts! I can read the Korean equivalent of Times New Roman fairly easily, but anything artsy or stylized throws me off immediately. Writing is also a challenge given that my handwriting isn't exemplary at the best of times and in my native tongue, but at least under those circumstances I can extrapolate from my notes with confidence. In Korean? Not so much.

On the other hand, three tenses total does make for one happy language student...

Got a question for the Waeguk? Ask him here.

Kansas, Toto, etc. Part Two

A few more thoughts on how I know I'm not in Canada...

A student brought a fairly realistic toy gun to class the other day, with a working laser sight on it. Rather than call the police or at least send him to the office, I told him to put it away, but not before I went to the class next door and pointed it at one of my colleagues through the window. In a similar twist, many of my students carry x-acto knives with them to sharpen their pencils. We haven't had any stabbings yet.

In Korean class, tonight we played "two truths and a lie." One of my truths was the following: I've met Wayne Gretzky. My teacher had never heard of him.

Cellphones work even in the subways here. Not only that, but I have a cellphone. This may be the most shocking development of all.

Example of a haiku, as given by Jeff Teacher

I sit in my class

Outside it will soon be fall

I won't miss the heat

Chuseok is all around us

The kids are busy writing their lists for the Chuseok Bunny, and getting ready to go from house to house collecting teeth to stick under the pillow, while the parents stay home assembling the Chuseok pole in preparation for the Airing of Grievances.

In truth, I still don't know exactly what Chuseok entails. It is, essentially, the Korean Thanksgiving, and a time when most Koreans will return to the home of their parents or grandparents, pay homage to their ancestors, and eat a lot- including Songpyeon, a traditional Korean rice cake. Beyond that, though, it's all a big mystery.

It's just a couple of weeks away now, and the biggest indicator of an impending holiday is found, of course, in the supermarkets. There are a great number of gift baskets for sale, each one offering a selection from a given grocery aisle: fruit, cosmetics, spam.

Soon we'll start doing Chuseok activities with the students, and I'm curious to discover the local equivalent of Santa napkin rings or Turkey placemats. Gift baskets aside, what I've seen of pre-Chuseok Korea makes it seem a lot more low-key than Christmas or even Thanksgiving, but it may also simply be less commercial, though no less intense. I am given to understand that virtually everyone goes home for the week, and there are very few exceptions.

As for me, I'll be in Beijing. Assa!

Ask A Waeguk, Vol.4

Haleigh from Nova Scotia writes: "How much English do your students already know when you (in the general, "someone who goes to teach English in Korea" sense) begin teaching them? And since you don't speak Korean, what tools do you use to make yourself understood, if the comprehension level is not already fairly high?"

The Waeguk Responds

It's interesting that you should ask, Haleigh. I'd been planning for some time to do a blog entry on my fledgling teaching career, and your question has provided the necessary incentive. Khansamneeda.

I teach a number of different age groups, and students of all levels of English-language ability. The teaching ranges from the relatively simple ("Some dinosaurs walk. Some dinosaurs run.") to the more advanced- one of my classes is reading The Wizard of Oz. Regardless of their age or ability, though, all of my students speak a level of English that is light-years ahead of my Korean. Even the kindergarten students understand the essentials needed for their classes:

-stand up

-sit down

-tidy up

-repeat after me

-cut here, then color*

And so on. I can also engage my kinders in conversation, as long as we stick to subjects they've studied (farm animals, feelings, health issues- sore throat, runny nose, et al- and dinosaurs). For those times when I'm in need of vocabulary they don't already know, a combination of mime and whiteboard sketching works wonders.

For the older students, of course, we tend to use more specialized vocabulary (I spent a class on the "present continuous" tense today, for example), but generally speaking they already have a relatively large English word-base, so I can work my way around using synonyms and the like. Failing that, there's always mime and whiteboard sketching. Usually, though, I just need to repeat myself more slowly, or rephrase myself. If I can make myself understood to one student, he or she can translate for the rest. That's not necessary very often, however, as the nature of the lessons is such that they're generally at a level the students can understand.

I teach at a private language academy, of which there are many (hundreds, I'd guess) in Busan alone. This means that my students (with the exception of the kinders) come after their regular school has concluded. Many students also go to an additional math, science or other school. For those whose parents can afford the additional education, it seems to be seen as something of a necessity.

As with any job, teaching has its ups and downs, though I suspect these may be more pronounced than in some careers. There are days when I walk out of class glowing with the satisfaction of a well-taught lesson, pleased by how well the students responded to my pedagogical brilliance, and there are days when I stagger out of class relieved the students haven't received a first-hand definition of defenestration.

The courses are very syllabus-oriented, meaning that I generally know which page of the textbook I'm teaching on any given day. This is useful in that relieves me of much of the burden of lesson-planning, but on the other hand it often forces me to figure out how to fill 40 minutes on something that I would otherwise try to teach in ten. Games are useful - a dull question and answer period is livened substantially if the students are allowed to play tic-tac-toe, wherein a correct answer gives them the chance to mark their square.

I'm able to keep the students relatively enthusiastic in most of my classes, but for those where I struggle (one class is notorious throughout the school for their lack of interest and manners) I try to remind myself not to take it personally. I taught the devil-class today, though, and it went fairly well, so maybe things are improving on that front. Keep your fingers crossed.

On a different note, I'm off to Mud Festival this weekend...Expect a dispatch early next week.

*My school teaches American English, or at least the spelling thereof. Thus, we talk about our favorite colors, and not our favourite colours.