Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 8

Today's questions come from the self-styled Notorious ACG, who asks:

1) Now that you've been in Korea for a while, are there any aspects of your day-to-day waegukian life that are not what you expected to experience?  (Besides the food, of course.)
2) What is the social life like for and among waeguks?  
3) What advice would you have for potential waeguks?  
4) When travelling to Japan and China, did you find that passing through customs was any different that what you would have expected to experience had you been arriving directly from Canada?

The Waeguk Responds:

1) Apart from the food, there haven't been any major divergences from my expectations, but there are various little things that jump to my notice every now and then. Line-ups, for example, do not receive the same attention and respect they do in Canada. It's not uncommon to have someone jump line without so much as a backward glance- or recriminations from others in the queue.

Movie theatres here have assigned seating, so when you go to see a movie, you don't just buy a ticket, but the ticket vendor shows you which seats have already been reserved, so you select from those that are free. This is useful, in that it allows you to come to the theatre, pick your seats, and then wander around in a leisurely manner until 5 minutes before the movie starts, at which point you go to your prime seats - assuming you arrived early enough to book them in the first place.

The subway stops running at roughly 11:30 each night, which is quite early by most standards. However, taxis are very cheap (it can often be more economical for two or three people going a short distance to take a cab), and plentiful, so late-night carousing isn't as limited by this as it might otherwise be. This brings us to question 2, the social life.

2) For many waeguks, the social scene in Korea is not dissimilar to the university experience: live for the weekend, head to the bars, and drink. Because the bars are open until 5 or 6 in the morning, they may well sleep the day away, rising only to repeat the experience of the previous night. While I've had my share of early morning taxis home, I generally make an effort to be conscious by noon.

In a city of four million people, the number of waeguks is still quite low, relatively speaking: I'd guess there are only a couple of thousand in Busan. What this means is that there's a fairly high incidence of interconnectivity - when I went out with some friends on Saturday night, I ran into three or four people at the bar whom I knew from different places.

Beyond the bar scene, of course, we also go to movies, museums, hike mountains, and do all the other things done by well-rounded people with a variety of interests.

3) For potential waeguks, the best advice I can give you is this: do your research. Find out how long your workday will be, where the school is located, what the neighbourhood is like, and so on. Ask if there are any other waeguks at the school you can talk to. There are some great English schools here, and there are some that most definitely aren't.

Ask yourself why you're thinking about moving to Korea. Is it to get teaching experience, to travel, to earn some cash, or a combination of the three? What kind of city do you want to be in? Would you feel uncomfortable being the only Westerner within 20 km, or do you want to fully and completely immerse yourself in the Korean culture (something that's much harder to do if most of your friends are waeguks as well)?

Most importantly- and this is cheesy and clichéd, but bears repeating- do your best to come with an open mind. This isn't North America, but that's also one of the reasons you're here.

4) In terms of going through customs, I can't think of any real differences that there might have been compared with arriving straight from Canada. I think the sheer number of young Westerners traveling around with Korean stamps in their passports is something to which customs officials in both Japan and China have become accustomed, so for them it's pretty much par for the course.

Tales from the kinder classroom - Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Step 1: Scroll down two posts for an introduction to these stories.
Step 2: Read all three stories.
Step 3: Vote in the sidebar poll!

Story #3: Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Teacher walked into Water Buffalo class and said, "Good morning, watermelon!" And Water buffalo class said, "Nooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Oh! I'm sorry. Good morning, waterfall!" "And Water Buffalo class said, "Nooooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Ohh! I'm so sorry. Good morning, Water Chestnut!" And Water Buffalo said, "Noooooo! Water BUFFALO!" And Teacher said, "...really?" And Water Buffalo class said, "Yes! We are Water BUFFALO class!" And Teacher said, "okay. Good morning, Water Buffalo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "Good morning, teacher!"

Teacher said, "I have a surprise for you today! We're going to the movies!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin said, "are we going to see a funny movie?" And Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a funny movie." Derek asked, "are we going to see a love story? With a pretty princess and a handsome prince?" Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a love story." Then Angelica asked, "what kind of movie are we going to see, Teacher?" And Teacher said, "We're going to see a scary movie! It's called The Monster Who Ate Other Monsters!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

On their way to the movie theatre, the students passed a Monster Mask store! Nan said, "Teacher, look! A monster mask store! Can we go in?" And Teacher said, "....okay!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin bought a green monster mask with big, floppy ears! Sophie bought a blue monster mask with great big horns! Roy bought a purple monster mask with lots and lots and lots and lots of TEETH!" And Fanny bought a yellow monster mask with a BIG ROUND NOSE, and a BIG RED MOUTH, but NO EYES! Fanny couldn't see! But she liked her mask very much. Soon all of the students had bought monster masks and were looking forward to the movie.

When they arrived, Teacher bought tickets and brought the students into the theatre. They put on their monster masks and sat down. Teacher went and bought popcorn. The students said, "yaaaay!" Then the movie started. It was exciting! It was all about a monster who went around eating other monsters!

What Water Buffalo class didn't know, however, was that since they started watching the movie, there was a BIG thunderstorm outside, with LOTS of thunder and lightning. All of a sudden, a burst of lightning hit the theatre, and the monster became ALIVE! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaah!" But Teacher said, "don't worry! This monster only eats other monsters! It doesn't eat children!"

Soon the monster came to Nan. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE NAN! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Next, the monster came to Roy. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE ROY! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are not monsters! We are children! Why is the monster eating us?"
And Teacher said, "I don't know!"

Now, through all of this, Fanny had been listening to the movie, and then listening to the monster, but she didn't know what was going on. She couldn't see! But finally she took her mask off, and looked up. She was looking at the monster!

The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth, and said, "aaah-aaah-aaaah-CHOOOOO!" And the monster sneezed! Out came Roy! Out came Nan! They landed on the floor in a pile of popcorn. They were wet and sticky, but they were okay.

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are wearing monster masks! The monster thinks we are monsters! That's why the monster ate Roy and Nan. That's why the monster didn't eat Fanny! She took off her monster mask!"

And Teacher said, "yes! You're right! Take off your monster masks, children! Take them off now!"

And all of Water Buffalo took off their monster masks- except for Devin. Devin liked his monster mask very much. It was green and black and yellow and had big horns AND big teeth AND a big nose! Devin loved his monster mask.

Then the monster came to Devin! The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. Then, Devin opened his mouth AND ATE THE MONSTER! The students said, "yaaaay!"

If it's not evident in the text, all of the eating (by the monster and by Devin) is done in one fell swoop, without chewing. It's much faster this way for all concerned, and also makes it a lot easier to regurgitate students fully formed. When the students say, "yaaaay," this should be accompanied by exaggerated arm-waving to show the depths of their excitement. When the students say, "waaaah," it should be matched with scared hand gestures for the same reason.

The Water Buffalo/ Watermelon greeting at the beginning of the story is a reversal of my own greetings to my Watermelon class. Whether I called them Water Buffalo, or Water Apple, or Waterlemon, they always insisted on being known by their rightful name- except for a couple of the boys, for whom Water Buffalo was a much cooler name.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Supply Teacher

Scroll down to the next post for an introduction to these stories.

Story #2: The Supply Teacher

Because they had thrown their teacher out the window, Water Buffalo class didn't know who would be teaching them today. When the new teacher walked in, the students were very surprised. Their new teacher was BIG! Very big. And funny looking: his clothes didn't seem to fit very well, and he wore a hat all the time! Angelica, Dustin and Roy were all very nervous. But then Teacher spoke. "Goooooood moooooorning, Water Buffalo!" He was nice! The students replied, "good morning, teacher!" Teacher was very big, and funny looking, but he seemed happy, and not mean at all. Teacher taught Water Buffalo class how to hold a pencil with their nose, and how to eat many, many peanuts. Then Teacher said, "I have good news for you, class! Today we're going on a trip...to the zoo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

When they got to the zoo, they looked at the monkeys. Roy liked looking at the monkeys very much; the monkeys thought he was a monkey! But Alison wanted to see the lion, so Water Buffalo class went to look at the lion. The lion was sleeping. Alison said, "aww! so cute," but Devin was angry. He said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "WAKE UP, LION!" And the lion said, "RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"
And Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" And Water Buffalo went to look at the giraffes.

Fanny really liked the giraffes. They were tall, and pretty, and they did not think she looked like a monkey, and they did not say, "RRROOOAAAARRRR!" Fanny could have stayed with the giraffes all day long. She and Dustin agreed that the giraffes were their favourite animals at the zoo. But then Teacher said, "look, class! The elephants are this way!"

When they got to the elephant pen, the students all crowded around the fence to look at the elephants. Because there were so many children, Angelica couldn't get close to the fence. So she read the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Roy moved out of the way, and Angelica was able to see the elephants. There were two elephants by the water, and one elephant was standing under a tree, and another elephant was sleeping in the back...Angelica went back to the sign and read it again: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then she returned to the fence and looked at the elephants. Angelica looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. She called to Alison and said, "look at this sign." Alison looked at the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Alison looked at the elephants. She looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants: one, two, three, four. Four! There were FOUR elephants in the elephant pen! Angelica said, "that's strange! We should ask Teacher." So Angelica and Alison looked around for Teacher, but they couldn't find him anywhere. Then somebody shouted, "let's go see the tigers!" And the Water Buffalo students left the elephant pen- except for Alison and Angelica. "Is Teacher at the front of the group," Angelica asked Alison. "He must be," replied Alison, even though she could not see Teacher anywhere. They went to join the rest of Water Buffalo class.

As they reached Joy, who was the last member of the group, they saw that Teacher was not with the group. Then Alison heard a noise behind her and she turned around. There was Teacher! He was running to catch up with them. His clothes were even messier than usual, and his hat was crooked! Alison looked back at the elephant pen. She only saw three elephants.


It seems evident (to me at least) that my storytelling owes a great deal to Roald Dahl, Louis Sachar, and Robert Munsch (thanks for the reminder, Erin!), but the line about Roy and the monkeys makes me think of John Irving for some reason. I think it's the italicized "he." This story is a lot more light-hearted than the previous one; I don't know which one my kids preferred -the appeal of the violence in The Mean Teacher is matched by the absurdity of an elephant substitute teacher. As I mentioned in the previous post, these retellings here are just that; they should not be taken as verbatim transcripts from the classroom, and should really be read aloud, with great arm movements and sound effects where and when possible.

As well, you may have noticed that even the students who were thrown out the window by the Mean Teacher have reappeared. This adds credence to the theory that the Water Buffalo class is on a lower floor than Watermelon.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Mean Teacher

So there have been times in my kindergarten classes when the worksheets are complete, the flash cards have been reviewed, the washroom has been visited and hands washed, and there is still much time left on the clock. To fill this time, we do different things:

-review some more
-sing songs (Farmer in The Dell, Bingo, and You are my Sunshine are particular favourites of late)
-play games (Broken Telephone, the Hand Game, the Animal Game, and so on)
- and one a few occasions recently, I've made up stories. Most often, these stories have been first told to my Watermelon class, and then edited and adapted to my other kinder classes. My students all have Korean names, obviously, but in class I call them by their English names - Kevin, Angelina, Joy (who's a boy, incidentally), Annie, Justin, Sophia, and so on. This is relevant for reasons that should soon become apparent.

Because the Korean school year finishes in February, today was the last day I taught these particular kindergarten classes. In honour of this, I thought it appropriate to recount the stories I have told. They're presented in a somewhat-condensed format, as I would typically ask questions, solicit audience participation, and encourage repetition of certain phrases during the telling. I'm slightly trepidatious, because I really don't know how well these stories (orginially told with accompanying sound effects and gestures, and lasting anywhere from 10-25 minutes) will translate into the written word, but we shall see. After each story, I intend to provide some additional information, intended largely to reassure you that the stories aren't quite as horrible as they might sound. The first one, at any rate, is probably the least child-appropriate of the lot. I recommend reading it aloud, ideally to any six or seven year-olds in your immediate vicinity.


Story #1: The Mean Teacher

Water Buffalo class had a new teacher. He was very mean. When he came into class in the morning, the students all said, "good morning teacher!" The teacher said, "sit down! be quiet!" They began to do their work. Devin put his hand up and said, "teacher, I have a question." When he said this, teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no questions in this classroom!" And then he picked Devin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW DEVIN OUT THE WINDOW! Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah- Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

A few minutes later, Angelica sneezed. Teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no sneezing in the classroom!" And then he picked Angelina up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW ANGELINA OUT THE WINDOW! Angelina said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

The class continued working. Then, Dustin asked Sophie if he could borrow her eraser. Teacher said, "no borrowing erasers in the classroom!" And then he picked Dustin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and --- and then Roy said, "NO, TEACHER!" Teacher said, "what?" And Roy said, "PUT DUSTIN DOWN!" Teacher was very confused, but he put Dustin down. And then Roy grabbed Teacher's left leg, and Fanny grabbed Teacher's right leg, and Sophie grabbed Teacher's right arm, and Alison grabbed Teacher's left arm. Dustin opened the window, and THEY THREW TEACHER OUT THE WINDOW! Teacher said, ""waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Dustin closed the window, and Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"


This story was first told during the rehearsals for the Kindergarten Concert. After a particularly grueling rehearsal, one of my classes was yelled at for ten minutes by a coworker of mine. When she was finished, I said to her (away from the students, of course), "why were you yelling at them? They were really good!" At this point, she looked rather embarrassed and admitted that they had been good, but said she felt she needed to castigate them to make sure they didn't get sloppy. Different teaching methods, I guess. At any rate, when I walked into the classroom it was full of downcast, dejected faces. Wanting to cheer them up without directly contradicting my co-teacher, I told them this story. It seemed to do the trick.

When I first told the story, I was careful to leave the fate of the defenestrated students ambiguous. In fact, the screams (which weren't screams at all, really, but merely saying "waaaaaaah" in a loud voice) didn't end with a thud per se; they were merely cut off abruptly, and that was that. When I told the story recently to another of my classes though, one of my students asked if they were dead. I told him that unlike the real kinder classrooms, which are on the sixth floor, the Water buffalo class is on the first floor, so it was just a three foot drop from the window to the ground.

Perhaps because it was the first story I told, The Mean Teacher is considerably shorter than the others. Whether this constitutes a point for or against is entirely a matter of taste.