Tales from the kinder classroom - Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

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Story #3: Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Teacher walked into Water Buffalo class and said, "Good morning, watermelon!" And Water buffalo class said, "Nooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Oh! I'm sorry. Good morning, waterfall!" "And Water Buffalo class said, "Nooooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Ohh! I'm so sorry. Good morning, Water Chestnut!" And Water Buffalo said, "Noooooo! Water BUFFALO!" And Teacher said, "...really?" And Water Buffalo class said, "Yes! We are Water BUFFALO class!" And Teacher said, "okay. Good morning, Water Buffalo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "Good morning, teacher!"

Teacher said, "I have a surprise for you today! We're going to the movies!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin said, "are we going to see a funny movie?" And Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a funny movie." Derek asked, "are we going to see a love story? With a pretty princess and a handsome prince?" Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a love story." Then Angelica asked, "what kind of movie are we going to see, Teacher?" And Teacher said, "We're going to see a scary movie! It's called The Monster Who Ate Other Monsters!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

On their way to the movie theatre, the students passed a Monster Mask store! Nan said, "Teacher, look! A monster mask store! Can we go in?" And Teacher said, "....okay!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin bought a green monster mask with big, floppy ears! Sophie bought a blue monster mask with great big horns! Roy bought a purple monster mask with lots and lots and lots and lots of TEETH!" And Fanny bought a yellow monster mask with a BIG ROUND NOSE, and a BIG RED MOUTH, but NO EYES! Fanny couldn't see! But she liked her mask very much. Soon all of the students had bought monster masks and were looking forward to the movie.

When they arrived, Teacher bought tickets and brought the students into the theatre. They put on their monster masks and sat down. Teacher went and bought popcorn. The students said, "yaaaay!" Then the movie started. It was exciting! It was all about a monster who went around eating other monsters!

What Water Buffalo class didn't know, however, was that since they started watching the movie, there was a BIG thunderstorm outside, with LOTS of thunder and lightning. All of a sudden, a burst of lightning hit the theatre, and the monster became ALIVE! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaah!" But Teacher said, "don't worry! This monster only eats other monsters! It doesn't eat children!"

Soon the monster came to Nan. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE NAN! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Next, the monster came to Roy. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE ROY! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are not monsters! We are children! Why is the monster eating us?"
And Teacher said, "I don't know!"

Now, through all of this, Fanny had been listening to the movie, and then listening to the monster, but she didn't know what was going on. She couldn't see! But finally she took her mask off, and looked up. She was looking at the monster!

The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth, and said, "aaah-aaah-aaaah-CHOOOOO!" And the monster sneezed! Out came Roy! Out came Nan! They landed on the floor in a pile of popcorn. They were wet and sticky, but they were okay.

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are wearing monster masks! The monster thinks we are monsters! That's why the monster ate Roy and Nan. That's why the monster didn't eat Fanny! She took off her monster mask!"

And Teacher said, "yes! You're right! Take off your monster masks, children! Take them off now!"

And all of Water Buffalo took off their monster masks- except for Devin. Devin liked his monster mask very much. It was green and black and yellow and had big horns AND big teeth AND a big nose! Devin loved his monster mask.

Then the monster came to Devin! The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. Then, Devin opened his mouth AND ATE THE MONSTER! The students said, "yaaaay!"

If it's not evident in the text, all of the eating (by the monster and by Devin) is done in one fell swoop, without chewing. It's much faster this way for all concerned, and also makes it a lot easier to regurgitate students fully formed. When the students say, "yaaaay," this should be accompanied by exaggerated arm-waving to show the depths of their excitement. When the students say, "waaaah," it should be matched with scared hand gestures for the same reason.

The Water Buffalo/ Watermelon greeting at the beginning of the story is a reversal of my own greetings to my Watermelon class. Whether I called them Water Buffalo, or Water Apple, or Waterlemon, they always insisted on being known by their rightful name- except for a couple of the boys, for whom Water Buffalo was a much cooler name.