Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 9

Our questions today come from Carrie in Québec City, who wonders:
a) If Koreans have something similar to a boite à chansons,
b) What feminism looks like in Korea, and
c) If "ethnic" food in Korea is American style food.

The Waeguk Responds:

Those are all good questions, Carrie, and each is worth answering, so let's start from the top.

a) For those readers who haven't spent much time in French Canada, a popular place to spend an evening is a boite à chansons. It's usually just a small pub or bar with live music. It's often just a solo guitarist who plays a selection of traditional French Canadian tunes and contemporary (And classic) francophone and anglophone hits. The crowd is often encouraged to sing along (especially during the chorus), and frequently requests songs as well.

While there are venues here which feature live music, there isn't anything that quite resembles the above, even if one were to substitute the word "Korean" for "French Canadian." However, Koreans do have their own form of musical entertainment: the 노래방! Pronounced "norae bang," this translates literally into "song room," and is the Korean form of karaoke. Although reasonably popular in Canada, Canadian karaoke bears little resemblance to its Korean cousin. Typically in North America, karaoke is held in generic bars, perhaps once a week, every second Sunday, or somesuch. Western karaoke involves singing to the entire bar: friends, strangers, and whoever else happens to be within earshot. By contrast, the noraebang is an establishment devoted exclusively to karaoke, and is broken into small rooms, each of which is equipped with its own karaoke machine and sound system, and seats roughly 5-15 people. In other words, one sings exclusively to and with one's drinking mates, which can make for a considerably less daunting experience for those who are not musically inclined. Even your humble waeguk correspond has taken the microphone on occasion to belt out some Human League or Offspring, despite his low self-esteem.

Karaoke is almost infinitely more popular here than in Canada. I would estimate there are at least half a dozen noraebangs within a 10 minute walk from my apartment, and my neighbourhood is by no means unusual in this respect.


b) My initial reaction to the question of feminism in Korea was that it's kind of like Canada's 1950, 1975, and 2008 all rolled into one. This isn't a question I feel overly qualified to answer, but since I'm the only waeguk many of my readers know, I'll do my best to at least give you an idea of the status of women here, if not the state of feminism per se.

Domestic violence is quite common here, sadly. On more than one occasion I've been at a bar and seen a man either hit or threaten to hit his wife. It happens fairly frequently, and also quite openly. I was talking about it one day with a Korean friend, who acknowledged that it's a big issue. She also said that her first reaction when she witnesses it, and that of many of her female friends, is to wonder, "what did the woman do [to deserve being hit]?"

I want to be careful not to overstate the case - I'm by no means suggesting that all Korean men beat their wives. However, I think there is an implicit acceptance, especially among the older people, that has fortunately fallen by the wayside in Canada.

Based only on my own anecdotal evidence, I can tell you that my male and female students seem equally interested in gaining a university and education and becoming doctors and lawyers- the prestige professions. From what I have seen, women are generally encouraged to go into post-secondary education, but are just as encouraged to quit their jobs once they marry or have children.

The U.S. Department of State notes that Korean

"law forbids discrimination on the basis of gender, religion, disability, age, social status, regional origin, national origin, ethnic origin, physical condition or appearance, marital status, pregnancy and child delivery, family status, race, skin color, thought or political opinion, record of any crime for which punishment has been fulfilled, or sexual orientation or medical history, and the government generally respected these provisions. However, traditional attitudes limited opportunities for women, persons with disabilities, and ethnic minorities. While courts have jurisdiction to decide discrimination claims, many of these cases were instead handled by the National Human Rights Commission."

Furthermore, there existed until 2005 a law which made women "legally subordinate to the male household head." 2005! Studies indicate that a woman typically earns 64% of what a man does in a comparable job, and polls show that "79% of women have experienced some form of discrimination in the workplace."

I think one needs to keep in mind that Korea is a country which has seen enormous change in a very short period. The economic progress has been remarkable, and the country once known as the Hermit Kingdom is opening itself up more and more to the rest of the world. Homosexuality, once completely unthinkable, is now "merely" taboo, and women have gained and are gaining more rights and legal protections with relative frequency over the past decade. I suspect there are more to come.

c) Western food (pasta, pizza, hamburgers, etc.) is prevalent in the large cities- as I may have mentioned in a previous post, there are far more Pizza Huts and Baskin-Robbinses in Busan than in Toronto. Because of this, I would hesitate to classify it as "ethnic food." Although my students don't eat burgers or spaghetti at home, they are very familiar with them. By contrast, the average Canadian ten year-old is unlikely to be able to identify bibimbap or kimbap, two of the most popular Korean dishes. Even beyond the fast food places, American chains such as TGI Friday's and Bennigan's are common here, and have arguably found a niche within Korean culture, rather than simply existing as outlets for when consumers want to eat "exotic" food. Japanese food is quite popular as well. On the other hand, there are a handful of restaurants of other countries or regions. In Busan (a city of over four million people), I know of two Thai restaurants, three Indian restaurants, a couple of Turkish restaurants, and that's about it. I haven't had tzatziki in almost a year now. This saddens me.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth

As my time here in South Korea starts to wind down, I've begun a list of things to do before I leave.

Some of them are relatively simple, such as certain dishes I have yet to try (live octopus), or mountains that are only a daytrip away, while others require a bit more work. You may or may not remember a poll in the fall asking whether I should go to North Korea- I'm going on May 31st. This intrigues me, but I'm still uncertain that it's for the best. We shall see.

I've also started a list of things to do after I leave. These, again, range from the fairly elaborate (temples in Cambodia, snorkeling in Thailand, jungling in Malasyia), to the more-mundane-but-no-less-anticipated (shopping at a North American supermarket, going to an English-language library).

I've started and stopped writing this post several times now, for the simple reason that I'm not sure what my point is, or even if I have one. I think I'm just happy to have options. I went with Robert Frost for my opening, but I could just have easily gone with Ecclesiastes:
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun.

And soon there'll be a new Ask The Waeguk.

Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 8

Today's questions come from the self-styled Notorious ACG, who asks:

1) Now that you've been in Korea for a while, are there any aspects of your day-to-day waegukian life that are not what you expected to experience?  (Besides the food, of course.)
2) What is the social life like for and among waeguks?  
3) What advice would you have for potential waeguks?  
4) When travelling to Japan and China, did you find that passing through customs was any different that what you would have expected to experience had you been arriving directly from Canada?

The Waeguk Responds:

1) Apart from the food, there haven't been any major divergences from my expectations, but there are various little things that jump to my notice every now and then. Line-ups, for example, do not receive the same attention and respect they do in Canada. It's not uncommon to have someone jump line without so much as a backward glance- or recriminations from others in the queue.

Movie theatres here have assigned seating, so when you go to see a movie, you don't just buy a ticket, but the ticket vendor shows you which seats have already been reserved, so you select from those that are free. This is useful, in that it allows you to come to the theatre, pick your seats, and then wander around in a leisurely manner until 5 minutes before the movie starts, at which point you go to your prime seats - assuming you arrived early enough to book them in the first place.

The subway stops running at roughly 11:30 each night, which is quite early by most standards. However, taxis are very cheap (it can often be more economical for two or three people going a short distance to take a cab), and plentiful, so late-night carousing isn't as limited by this as it might otherwise be. This brings us to question 2, the social life.

2) For many waeguks, the social scene in Korea is not dissimilar to the university experience: live for the weekend, head to the bars, and drink. Because the bars are open until 5 or 6 in the morning, they may well sleep the day away, rising only to repeat the experience of the previous night. While I've had my share of early morning taxis home, I generally make an effort to be conscious by noon.

In a city of four million people, the number of waeguks is still quite low, relatively speaking: I'd guess there are only a couple of thousand in Busan. What this means is that there's a fairly high incidence of interconnectivity - when I went out with some friends on Saturday night, I ran into three or four people at the bar whom I knew from different places.

Beyond the bar scene, of course, we also go to movies, museums, hike mountains, and do all the other things done by well-rounded people with a variety of interests.

3) For potential waeguks, the best advice I can give you is this: do your research. Find out how long your workday will be, where the school is located, what the neighbourhood is like, and so on. Ask if there are any other waeguks at the school you can talk to. There are some great English schools here, and there are some that most definitely aren't.

Ask yourself why you're thinking about moving to Korea. Is it to get teaching experience, to travel, to earn some cash, or a combination of the three? What kind of city do you want to be in? Would you feel uncomfortable being the only Westerner within 20 km, or do you want to fully and completely immerse yourself in the Korean culture (something that's much harder to do if most of your friends are waeguks as well)?

Most importantly- and this is cheesy and clichéd, but bears repeating- do your best to come with an open mind. This isn't North America, but that's also one of the reasons you're here.

4) In terms of going through customs, I can't think of any real differences that there might have been compared with arriving straight from Canada. I think the sheer number of young Westerners traveling around with Korean stamps in their passports is something to which customs officials in both Japan and China have become accustomed, so for them it's pretty much par for the course.

Tales from the kinder classroom - Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Step 1: Scroll down two posts for an introduction to these stories.
Step 2: Read all three stories.
Step 3: Vote in the sidebar poll!

Story #3: Water Buffalo Goes To The Movies

Teacher walked into Water Buffalo class and said, "Good morning, watermelon!" And Water buffalo class said, "Nooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Oh! I'm sorry. Good morning, waterfall!" "And Water Buffalo class said, "Nooooo! Water Buffalo!" And Teacher said, "Ohh! I'm so sorry. Good morning, Water Chestnut!" And Water Buffalo said, "Noooooo! Water BUFFALO!" And Teacher said, "...really?" And Water Buffalo class said, "Yes! We are Water BUFFALO class!" And Teacher said, "okay. Good morning, Water Buffalo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "Good morning, teacher!"

Teacher said, "I have a surprise for you today! We're going to the movies!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin said, "are we going to see a funny movie?" And Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a funny movie." Derek asked, "are we going to see a love story? With a pretty princess and a handsome prince?" Teacher said, "no, we're not going to see a love story." Then Angelica asked, "what kind of movie are we going to see, Teacher?" And Teacher said, "We're going to see a scary movie! It's called The Monster Who Ate Other Monsters!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

On their way to the movie theatre, the students passed a Monster Mask store! Nan said, "Teacher, look! A monster mask store! Can we go in?" And Teacher said, "....okay!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!" Dustin bought a green monster mask with big, floppy ears! Sophie bought a blue monster mask with great big horns! Roy bought a purple monster mask with lots and lots and lots and lots of TEETH!" And Fanny bought a yellow monster mask with a BIG ROUND NOSE, and a BIG RED MOUTH, but NO EYES! Fanny couldn't see! But she liked her mask very much. Soon all of the students had bought monster masks and were looking forward to the movie.

When they arrived, Teacher bought tickets and brought the students into the theatre. They put on their monster masks and sat down. Teacher went and bought popcorn. The students said, "yaaaay!" Then the movie started. It was exciting! It was all about a monster who went around eating other monsters!

What Water Buffalo class didn't know, however, was that since they started watching the movie, there was a BIG thunderstorm outside, with LOTS of thunder and lightning. All of a sudden, a burst of lightning hit the theatre, and the monster became ALIVE! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaah!" But Teacher said, "don't worry! This monster only eats other monsters! It doesn't eat children!"

Soon the monster came to Nan. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Nan. Nan looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE NAN! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Next, the monster came to Roy. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Roy. Roy looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth AND ATE ROY! The students said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are not monsters! We are children! Why is the monster eating us?"
And Teacher said, "I don't know!"

Now, through all of this, Fanny had been listening to the movie, and then listening to the monster, but she didn't know what was going on. She couldn't see! But finally she took her mask off, and looked up. She was looking at the monster!

The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Fanny. Fanny looked up at the monster. Then, the monster opened its mouth, and said, "aaah-aaah-aaaah-CHOOOOO!" And the monster sneezed! Out came Roy! Out came Nan! They landed on the floor in a pile of popcorn. They were wet and sticky, but they were okay.

Angelica said, "Teacher! We are wearing monster masks! The monster thinks we are monsters! That's why the monster ate Roy and Nan. That's why the monster didn't eat Fanny! She took off her monster mask!"

And Teacher said, "yes! You're right! Take off your monster masks, children! Take them off now!"

And all of Water Buffalo took off their monster masks- except for Devin. Devin liked his monster mask very much. It was green and black and yellow and had big horns AND big teeth AND a big nose! Devin loved his monster mask.

Then the monster came to Devin! The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. The monster looked down at Devin. Devin looked up at the monster. Then, Devin opened his mouth AND ATE THE MONSTER! The students said, "yaaaay!"

If it's not evident in the text, all of the eating (by the monster and by Devin) is done in one fell swoop, without chewing. It's much faster this way for all concerned, and also makes it a lot easier to regurgitate students fully formed. When the students say, "yaaaay," this should be accompanied by exaggerated arm-waving to show the depths of their excitement. When the students say, "waaaah," it should be matched with scared hand gestures for the same reason.

The Water Buffalo/ Watermelon greeting at the beginning of the story is a reversal of my own greetings to my Watermelon class. Whether I called them Water Buffalo, or Water Apple, or Waterlemon, they always insisted on being known by their rightful name- except for a couple of the boys, for whom Water Buffalo was a much cooler name.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Supply Teacher

Scroll down to the next post for an introduction to these stories.

Story #2: The Supply Teacher

Because they had thrown their teacher out the window, Water Buffalo class didn't know who would be teaching them today. When the new teacher walked in, the students were very surprised. Their new teacher was BIG! Very big. And funny looking: his clothes didn't seem to fit very well, and he wore a hat all the time! Angelica, Dustin and Roy were all very nervous. But then Teacher spoke. "Goooooood moooooorning, Water Buffalo!" He was nice! The students replied, "good morning, teacher!" Teacher was very big, and funny looking, but he seemed happy, and not mean at all. Teacher taught Water Buffalo class how to hold a pencil with their nose, and how to eat many, many peanuts. Then Teacher said, "I have good news for you, class! Today we're going on a trip...to the zoo!" And Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"

When they got to the zoo, they looked at the monkeys. Roy liked looking at the monkeys very much; the monkeys thought he was a monkey! But Alison wanted to see the lion, so Water Buffalo class went to look at the lion. The lion was sleeping. Alison said, "aww! so cute," but Devin was angry. He said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "wake up, lion!" But the lion did not wake up. Devin said, "WAKE UP, LION!" And the lion said, "RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"
And Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" And Water Buffalo went to look at the giraffes.

Fanny really liked the giraffes. They were tall, and pretty, and they did not think she looked like a monkey, and they did not say, "RRROOOAAAARRRR!" Fanny could have stayed with the giraffes all day long. She and Dustin agreed that the giraffes were their favourite animals at the zoo. But then Teacher said, "look, class! The elephants are this way!"

When they got to the elephant pen, the students all crowded around the fence to look at the elephants. Because there were so many children, Angelica couldn't get close to the fence. So she read the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Roy moved out of the way, and Angelica was able to see the elephants. There were two elephants by the water, and one elephant was standing under a tree, and another elephant was sleeping in the back...Angelica went back to the sign and read it again: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then she returned to the fence and looked at the elephants. Angelica looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. She called to Alison and said, "look at this sign." Alison looked at the sign: "Welcome to the Busan Zoo! We have three elephants." Then Alison looked at the elephants. She looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants. Then she looked at the sign. Then she looked at the elephants: one, two, three, four. Four! There were FOUR elephants in the elephant pen! Angelica said, "that's strange! We should ask Teacher." So Angelica and Alison looked around for Teacher, but they couldn't find him anywhere. Then somebody shouted, "let's go see the tigers!" And the Water Buffalo students left the elephant pen- except for Alison and Angelica. "Is Teacher at the front of the group," Angelica asked Alison. "He must be," replied Alison, even though she could not see Teacher anywhere. They went to join the rest of Water Buffalo class.

As they reached Joy, who was the last member of the group, they saw that Teacher was not with the group. Then Alison heard a noise behind her and she turned around. There was Teacher! He was running to catch up with them. His clothes were even messier than usual, and his hat was crooked! Alison looked back at the elephant pen. She only saw three elephants.


It seems evident (to me at least) that my storytelling owes a great deal to Roald Dahl, Louis Sachar, and Robert Munsch (thanks for the reminder, Erin!), but the line about Roy and the monkeys makes me think of John Irving for some reason. I think it's the italicized "he." This story is a lot more light-hearted than the previous one; I don't know which one my kids preferred -the appeal of the violence in The Mean Teacher is matched by the absurdity of an elephant substitute teacher. As I mentioned in the previous post, these retellings here are just that; they should not be taken as verbatim transcripts from the classroom, and should really be read aloud, with great arm movements and sound effects where and when possible.

As well, you may have noticed that even the students who were thrown out the window by the Mean Teacher have reappeared. This adds credence to the theory that the Water Buffalo class is on a lower floor than Watermelon.

Tales from the kinder classroom - The Mean Teacher

So there have been times in my kindergarten classes when the worksheets are complete, the flash cards have been reviewed, the washroom has been visited and hands washed, and there is still much time left on the clock. To fill this time, we do different things:

-review some more
-sing songs (Farmer in The Dell, Bingo, and You are my Sunshine are particular favourites of late)
-play games (Broken Telephone, the Hand Game, the Animal Game, and so on)
- and one a few occasions recently, I've made up stories. Most often, these stories have been first told to my Watermelon class, and then edited and adapted to my other kinder classes. My students all have Korean names, obviously, but in class I call them by their English names - Kevin, Angelina, Joy (who's a boy, incidentally), Annie, Justin, Sophia, and so on. This is relevant for reasons that should soon become apparent.

Because the Korean school year finishes in February, today was the last day I taught these particular kindergarten classes. In honour of this, I thought it appropriate to recount the stories I have told. They're presented in a somewhat-condensed format, as I would typically ask questions, solicit audience participation, and encourage repetition of certain phrases during the telling. I'm slightly trepidatious, because I really don't know how well these stories (orginially told with accompanying sound effects and gestures, and lasting anywhere from 10-25 minutes) will translate into the written word, but we shall see. After each story, I intend to provide some additional information, intended largely to reassure you that the stories aren't quite as horrible as they might sound. The first one, at any rate, is probably the least child-appropriate of the lot. I recommend reading it aloud, ideally to any six or seven year-olds in your immediate vicinity.


Story #1: The Mean Teacher

Water Buffalo class had a new teacher. He was very mean. When he came into class in the morning, the students all said, "good morning teacher!" The teacher said, "sit down! be quiet!" They began to do their work. Devin put his hand up and said, "teacher, I have a question." When he said this, teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no questions in this classroom!" And then he picked Devin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW DEVIN OUT THE WINDOW! Devin said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah- Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

A few minutes later, Angelica sneezed. Teacher got very, very angry. He said, "no sneezing in the classroom!" And then he picked Angelina up, walked over to the window, opened it, and THREW ANGELINA OUT THE WINDOW! Angelina said, "waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Teacher closed the window.

The class continued working. Then, Dustin asked Sophie if he could borrow her eraser. Teacher said, "no borrowing erasers in the classroom!" And then he picked Dustin up, walked over to the window, opened it, and --- and then Roy said, "NO, TEACHER!" Teacher said, "what?" And Roy said, "PUT DUSTIN DOWN!" Teacher was very confused, but he put Dustin down. And then Roy grabbed Teacher's left leg, and Fanny grabbed Teacher's right leg, and Sophie grabbed Teacher's right arm, and Alison grabbed Teacher's left arm. Dustin opened the window, and THEY THREW TEACHER OUT THE WINDOW! Teacher said, ""waaaaaaaaaaaah-Thud." Then Dustin closed the window, and Water Buffalo class said, "yaaaay!"


This story was first told during the rehearsals for the Kindergarten Concert. After a particularly grueling rehearsal, one of my classes was yelled at for ten minutes by a coworker of mine. When she was finished, I said to her (away from the students, of course), "why were you yelling at them? They were really good!" At this point, she looked rather embarrassed and admitted that they had been good, but said she felt she needed to castigate them to make sure they didn't get sloppy. Different teaching methods, I guess. At any rate, when I walked into the classroom it was full of downcast, dejected faces. Wanting to cheer them up without directly contradicting my co-teacher, I told them this story. It seemed to do the trick.

When I first told the story, I was careful to leave the fate of the defenestrated students ambiguous. In fact, the screams (which weren't screams at all, really, but merely saying "waaaaaaah" in a loud voice) didn't end with a thud per se; they were merely cut off abruptly, and that was that. When I told the story recently to another of my classes though, one of my students asked if they were dead. I told him that unlike the real kinder classrooms, which are on the sixth floor, the Water buffalo class is on the first floor, so it was just a three foot drop from the window to the ground.

Perhaps because it was the first story I told, The Mean Teacher is considerably shorter than the others. Whether this constitutes a point for or against is entirely a matter of taste.

All the World's a Stage

With roughly two hours to spare, I give you...a blog post.


January has been a busy month. The students are on winter break from their elementary schools, which (of course) means that many of them were spending more time with us, and there was a corresponding increase in classes to teach.

In addition to the so-called "intensive" classes, we also had the annual kindergarten concert. Picture, if you will, dozens of Korean six- and seven year-olds singing, dancing, and acting their little kinderhearts out. My Watermelon class unleashed a performance of Snow White and the Six (not seven, six) Dwarfs that would have blown your minds, while my Strawberry class offered an interpretation of Beauty and the Beast that left the audience gaping and gasping in awe. Perhaps the most interesting adaptation, however, came from Lemon class. The Wizard of Oz is a theatrical classic, performed annually on countless stages around the globe.

I am willing to venture a guess, however, that this was the first-ever performance to feature none of:
-the Tin Man
-the Cowardly Lion
-the Scarecrow
-Toto the dog
-the Munchkins.

Parents were apparently unwilling to have their children cast in these roles (I must confess to not quite understanding the reasons why, although I believe it had something to do with the costumes not being sufficiently attractive for the parents' liking), and so instead we saw Superman, Batman, Tae Kwon V (a Korean superhero roughly on par with the first two), and Toto the younger brother. As for the Munchkins, they were simply omitted entirely, but I think this may have more to do with the challenges of performing an entire play in six minutes than out of any editorializing.

In addition to kind of (but not really) emceeing the show, I also had several other roles: the magic mirror in Snow White, the narrator and Servant 1 in Beauty and the Beast, and as a dancer (along with the other waeguk teachers and two kinder classes) to the following song. You really should have seen it. We were awesome.

Deadline

I'm going to bed now, but am making this simple promise: there will be a new blog entry within 24 hours. If there isn't, you can expect to see this post removed, 1984-style, and any evidence of its existence eradicated from your memory.

Buona notte.

Ask A Waeguk - addendum

Those of you who happened to read the comments section of the preceding post will have noticed reference to monkeys and banana flavoured cheetos. Allow me to elaborate.

Relatively soon after my arrival in Korea, I was walking home one night after an evening out with friends. Finding myself somewhat peckish, I stopped at the first convenience store along the way. There, my eye was caught by a bag of what appeared to be Cheetos- at least, that's what the photo on the bag led me to believe. There was also a cute drawing of monkey, but I didn't put too much thought into its significance at that time. It was only later when I happened to open the bag that I realized the "Cheetos" were not cheese-flavoured. Nor, as it happens, were they monkey-flavoured. Or if they were, I am somewhat surprised to learn that monkeys taste suspiciously like artificial banana flavour. Not having sought out this bag since, however, I am unable to say whether a closer attention to the English writing on the package would have provided me with more clues. I feel reasonably confident in saying that nowhere in English was it written, BANANA-Os! Banana-flavoured Cheetos-shaped snack food, but it in Korean it may well have.

Real bananas? Good. Fake banana-flavoured Cheetos? Not so much.

Ask A Waeguk, Vol. 7

The first question of the year comes from Haleigh in Halifax, who wonders:

"In South Korea, does most product packaging have some English on it, or have you often had to guess at the contents based on the picture on the box? If it's the latter case, have you had any amusing misunderstandings?"

The Waeguk responds:

Almost all packaging does in fact have some English on it, but whether this is to assist any wayward anglophones or to promote some abstract idea of sophistication, I have yet to decide. There's a huge emphasis on learning English, though, so it may be that it's a way of encouraging the people to acclimatize themselves to the roman alphabet. This is all idle speculation, of course, but what it means in practice, then, is that most food products have some English on them. Even things like the generic store-brand rameon noodles have the Korean "라면" (rameon) followed by "noodles."

One of the things which has amused me rather consistently since becoming quasi-literate in Korean is that English words are often transliterated rather than translated. As an example, I present the title of a recent Western movie:

P.S. 아이 러브유

To most of you, of course, the above title is illegible, so let's break it down phonetically.

아 - a
이 -ee
러 -luh
브 -buh
유 -yu

Said quickly enough, a ee luhbuh yu becomes I love you. Thus, we know the movie is P.S. I love you. To see a movie poster, please click here.

What's interesting, though, is that if you were to look up these words in a Korean-English dictionary, you would find something completely different. It should come as no shock to anyone, really, that the Korean for "I love you" is not the same as the English. Furthermore, on movie posters the title is often(though not always) written in English as well as in Korean. So a Korean whose English is good enough that she will know what I love you means will in all likelihood be able to read the title in English, but a Korean who is unable to read the Roman alphabet is not likely to be any more enlightened after reading the Korean transliteration.

Another example? Oh, all right.

아메리칸 갱스터

Again, let's break it down.

아-a
메 -meh
리 -ri
칸 -kan
갱 -gang
스 -suh
터 -tuh

Reassembled, we find ourselves with: a meh ri kan gang suh tuh. Say it quickly, and you're saying American Gangster (movie poster: here). Again, the words for American and gangster are quite different, but the titles are transliterated rather than translated. One of my favourite French novels is Le petit prince, but in English it becomes The Little Prince, not Luh Putty Prance.

This transliteration is not restricted to movie titles; incidentally. Even Mountain Dew is turned into ma-aoun-tin du, rather than some Koreanized "Hill Rain beverage" or somesuch.

On a not entirely unrelated note, my Korean lessons proceed with slow but steady progress. They proved their worth last week when I left my cellphone in a cab. As I discovered my loss shortly after exiting the vehicle, I was able to call my phone almost immediately. The cabdriver answered, and in Korean I was able to impose upon him to return to my apartment so that I might procure my telephonic device. It should be noted that what I actually said in Korean was not in the vicinity of eloquence, nor, indeed, in the same area code, yet the fact remains: my cellphone sits on the desk in front of me as I type. A triumph indeed.

Year in Review: Solipsist Edition

I'll be brief.

2007

Six Countries
Four Continents
Degree Earned
Students Taught
People Met
Friends Made
Language Learned
Beer Drank
Rice Eaten
Words Written

Ups Downs Etc.

May your oh-eight be a good one.

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, ?, ?

I was doing patterns with one of my kindergarten classes the other day. Nothing too complicated... star circle square star circle square star circle square, and the like. They were getting them all very easily, so I decided to up it a little bit. 9 A 8 B 7 C 6 D, etc, and it took them a little bit longer, but they still picked it up pretty quickly.

So I decided to put something that was even more challenging. And that would be the pattern you see in the title. Some of you will probably crack it immediately; for others it may take a little longer. One of my students figured it out in her head within two minutes. She's six years old! Answer at the bottom.

That was interesting kindergarten incident #1 of the day. Number two occurred that afternoon. At the beginning of each kinder class, I draw a happy face and a sad face on the board; good behaviour and bad behaviour are recognized under the appropriate faces. I try to vary the faces each day - sometimes I'll draw cartoon people, other times anthropomorphized objects or animals. Yesterday I happened to do simple, almost geometric faces: dots for the eyes, accents circonflexes for the eyebrows, and so on. Upon seeing these, one of my students raised her hand and said, "teacher...emoticons?" Bear in mind, again, that these are six year-olds whose first language is not English, whose native alphabet is not Roman. The codebreaking left me impressed but not shocked; the emoticon incident (this, incidentally, would be a good name for an internet spy novel) left me flabbergasted and laughing. I asked her where she learned the word; apparently her mother and older sister were discussing it one day.

Thus, in honour of the occasion, I will end with a smile. :)

p.s. the next two numbers in the sequence are 21 and 34. Each number is the sum of the two preceding it: 1 + 2 = 3, 2 + 3 = 5, 3+ 5 = 8, and so on. Six years old! And she did it in her head!

And I remember Shanghai

How I wasn't sure just what was safe to eat
The chickens pecked and wandered at the barefoot ankles of the children hawking figurines of workers smiling
What's the Chinese word for cheese?

Thanks to Bishop Allen for the above lyrics. As it happened, I didn't see any live chickens, but I do, nevertheless, remember Shanghai.

In my previous Shanghai post, I mentioned the architecture downtown, which is radically different from that of Beijing, Seoul, and Busan. The guidebooks had made mention of this, however, so I wasn't completely unprepared. What I wasn't ready for was the traffic.

Oh, the traffic. The dizzying, exhilarating, anarchic traffic.

Shanghai!
A city where stoplights are suggestions at best.

Shanghai!
Where flocks of bicycles and scooters roam the streets.

Shanghai!
Where pedestrians defy death with every step off the sidewalk.

Springfield!
Where skateboard-riding youths urge you to eat their shorts.

Er, moving on.

Given my reputation, not as an expert economist, political theorist or even as a PhD. candidate in Sino-industrial history, but as someone who has spent more than eight days in China (four in Shanghai, five in Beijing), I feel particularly qualified to comment on the socio-political situation in contemporary China.

As I understand it, it's like this: China is still "communist" in much the same way that Stephen Harper is a "good prime minister." Between the condo developments and the Ferrari dealership, Shanghai does not show many signs of being a society in which property is shared equally. I think it's probably fair to say that communist China has never had such a society, but now there's isn't even any pretense of such a thing.

Historically speaking (or so we were told in Mrs. Findlay's Grade 13 Mod. West. Civ. class), revolutions have come from the middle class. When you're struggling to get enough food to feed your children, it can be hard to worry about more abstract issues such as voting. The reason Great Britain managed to avoid the equivalent of the French Revolution was that the nobility wasn't as rigidly hierarchical: those of sufficient wealth were able to buy their way into some form of power.

In China, the middle class is growing rapidly (though still dwarfed by those living day to day), but it's uncertain just how much power they have. At what point does one decide the Porsche isn't sufficient compensation for a lack of free speech? Is China's economic growth sustainable environmentally, economically, or socially?

I did enjoy the dumplings.

Oh, Ok

Well, 24 hours and much pedestring later, I return to the interweb to find that blogger is, in fact, accessible. Must just have been standard e-difficulties. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed to find that the Chinese government doesn't object to my writings.

You know what? That's all for now.

Interesting...

In attempting to update this blog from Shanghai, I seem to have run afoul of China's notorious internet censorship restrictions. At any rate, I am unable to access blogger in the usual manner. However, I have vague memories of setting up "blog by email" at some point in the past. So if you're reading this, it's because

a) Not only did I set up the blog by email (bbe) feature, I also
b) remembered the email address by which I can can use it.

If you're not reading this, of course, the point is moot, but since hope is the foundation upon which all creation must be built, I will proceed under the assumption that the blogging is proceeding as planned.

So...Shanghai.

First impressions? London mixed with Gotham City by way of Metropolis. The principal tourist area, known as the Bund, is filled with imposing Neo-Classical structures which date back to the late 19th and early 20th centuries. This gives the city (or parts thereof, I should say) a decidedly Western feel, most reminiscent to me of London. Across the river from the Bund, however, is the Pudong area, the exaggeratedly modern skyscraper district which seems like something out of a cheerful optimistic and future-looking comic (Metropolis). Yesterday, though, was dark and damp and foggy; the buildings loomed through the clouds as though screaming for Commissioner Gordon to shine the Bat Signal on them.

Today? Still cloudy, but no rain as of yet, fortunately. I've returned to the hostel for a mid-afternoon rest after much walking ce matin. The Shanghai Museum was interesting enough in its way, and comforting in the familiar museum-smell that seems to permeate all such institutions. I also took the time to meander through various roads and sidestreets, stopping only to sample an occasional steamed dumpling- which are, I am pleased to say, as exquisitely delicious as I had been led to believe. The Yuyuan Gardens, though not at their most floral in late December, were pleasing in their verdant, labyrinthine way, and I also made acquaintance with a most loquacious young man named Jimmy, who spewed forth a semi-prepared speech in such a manner as to turn Aaron Sorkin green with envy.

"Hello my friend where are you from? Oh, Canada! Canada is a very nice country. It rhymes with banana. I like to meet new and interesting foreigners and make conversation with them. You are very interesting looking with your blue eyes and many mustaches and big nose. You look very funny, don't you think? Anyway I am sixteen years old and I like to learn English but I cannot live at home anymore because my father beats me and my mother very much so I have had to leave home but under Chinese law children are not allowed to work so I have no means of supporting myself and I ask you my friend for some small money to help me feed myself-"

I gave him 5 yuan (roughly $0.60) and wondered, as I always do in these circumstances, whether I should have given more or nothing at all...

But now the city beckons once more. If nothing else, there are postcards to be written and street vendors' wares to be sampled.

Slideshow!

At long last...

This time next week, I'll be in Shanghai. In honour of this, and as an early Christmas present of sorts, I've put up a slideshow of selected photos from my Beijing trip. Enjoy.

And you read your Emily Dickinson, and I my Robert Frost

Points to anyone who catches the titular reference.

Over drinks at a friend's birthday party recently, discussion turned, in the improbably-hard-to-describe way that these things do, to student loans and the Booker Prize. Whether it was the champagne, my general lack of humility, or the fact that I possess Canadian, Irish and UK citizenship (making me thrice-eligible for the prize), I declared my intention to write a Booker Prize-winning novel and share the proceeds with the others to enable them to assist them with their edu-financial emancipation. While I did not specify the year in which my novel will take the literary world by storm, I am very aware of the fact that I am already 26, and thus have, by even particularly optimistic guesses, at best another 74 chances to win it. So there's much work to be done.

Setting aside any Booker aspirations, writing a novel is something I've always wanted to do. I have many beginnings, but few worth continuing. I have some ideas in mind, but I thought it would be fun to throw it to you, my faithful readers. What kind of novel should I write?

Please make your opinion known by voting in the poll in the sidebar. I do not promise to obey the wishes of my readers; truth be told, I suspect I already know which of the options provided will be the most popular, but I will take all votes and comments into consideration.

Confession

It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I feel comfortable admitting this, but I think I've been in denial long enough.

I don't like Korean food. There, I said it.

It's not to say that I don't like any Korean food, or that I am repulsed by it. Far from it. There are several dishes that are quite tasty, and I can generally find something edible at any of the restaurants near my apartment.

However, I remember going to a Korean supermarket in Toronto last Spring, and wandering the aisles with excitement and anticipation.

What does this package say?
What's in this box?
What are these ingredients for?
When I come back to Canada, I'll be able to cook all these great new dishes!

Sadly, no. This, in fact, is one of my greatest disappointments in Korea. I like food. A lot. I've eaten well on my travels in Mexico (taquitos from the street vendors), in Turkey (eggplant! and kebabs!), in Greece (eggplant again! and gyros dripping with tzatziki, and lamb stew), and Spain (where to begin? the tapas and the ham and the sangria and Portugal (codfish done six different ways, roast chicken, pasteis de belem). My one night in Japan, I had a delicous beefy brothy dish I won't even try to name. I'm already salivating at the thought of the cooking class I'll be taking in Thailand some six months from now. I like food.

Korean food, though...features seaweed. Prominently. And fish. But not fish in the way that I've come to like it. At a wedding buffet last weekend, breaded, fried, salmon fins were one of the options, and a popular selection at that.

I can eat the dried squid at the bar, and I do, but to me it tastes rubbery, vaguely fishy, and not all that appealing. The fish cakes that turn up in so many dishes here are chewy and flavourless. Much hot sauce is needed to make them palatable.

I'm disappointed, but it would be ridiculous for me to expect a country's cuisine to adapt itself to my palate. So I'm disappointed in me. I like the Korean bbq (dak galbi...mmm), and I like the dumplings, and some of the pastries. I like the Mongolian hot pot (which is also a Korean thing, name notwithstanding), but I haven't fallen in love with the everyday meals and the type of food my students eat on a regular basis. This annoys me.

But I've got another six months to get it right. Wish me luck.

Sundayosity

This Friday is the 6th mensiversary of my arrival in South Korea. Several things are happening or have already happened to mark the occasion:

-The mayor of Busan, Hur Nam-Sik, has declared next weekend to be a municipal holiday. There is to be a kimchi-tape parade downtown, and work will commence on a statue, 75m tall, in my likeness, to be placed on the summit of the highest mountain in the city.


-Kim Jong-Il is expected to resign as leader of North Korea and rededicate himself to his first love, yahtzee.

-I bought a winter jacket. In truth, this wasn't done specifically to commemorate my time here, but it seemed like a good idea, what with the encroachment of winter and so forth. The jacket itself is not entirely unattractive, should keep me reasonably warm, and was less than the price of a meal at a local Thai restaurant, assuming a glass of wine was consumed along with the food in said meal. So I'm satisfied with my purchase overall. What really, truly, delighted me about the jacket, though, is the descriptive blurb on the tag, reproduced here for your reading pleasure:

Leader's
The everything world mountain for acid is tracking, hiking, Seunosyuing, and until walking that is adventure and expression of travel in line of exploration! Offer everything. Experience culture that is different from nature and walk the earth. Express your happiness in step that step forward step by step. Open mind that is humble and respect. Finally, find your self, and supplement energy, and meet new place, the new world and new people and give meaning in your life at the street end.

I've been trying to stay away from posting about "konglish," as the Korean-English mishmash is known, for the simple reason that it's far too facile a topic to write about. It's a "what's the deal with airplane food" level of easy comedy, but the paragraph just appealed to me, and so I thought I'd share. Seunosyuing, incidentally, is snowshoeing, or so I would guess.

Last week's American Thanksgiving festivities were excellent. We bought a turkey dinner from The Seamen's Club, a USS centre which caters primarily to American military personnel and sailors, and it was delicious. My intended cheesecake was to be lime with a ginger snap crust, but due to supermarket restrictions it turned into a lemon cheesecake with a coconut cookie crust; also excellent, but my heart still prefers the lime.

Now that it's December, my thoughts have really started to trifurcate. I've been reflecting on the year gone by: North Bay, Kenya, Korea, and so on, thinking about my options for the second half of '08, while simultaneously wanting to stay grounded in the next 6 months. It's quite the juggling act, let me tell you. On the other hand, it's rare that I'm able to use "trifurcate," so this mollifies me somewhat.

More later today. Maybe.